I’m always telling my ‘Today’ story. And I don’t think about it much. You might be the same.
We ask each other when we meet. How are things with you? It’s a way to check in, share our day.
It’s different from our Big Story, which quickly paints a picture of our life, who we are today, where we have come from, what’s influenced us. So useful when we meet someone new.
No, I’m talking about the everyday stories tell those we know – and ourselves – about what’s happening. Who caused problems for us, or helped us, the delights we experienced, the threats, the opportunities and how we responded.
We see our Today story as inconsequential, so pay little attention to how we’re constructing it.
Power of our Today story
I now realise this is a big mistake.
Our Today story is hugely important because it can drag us down.
When our stories carry assumptions, for example, that life is hard, others can’t be trusted, we aren’t enough, we need something better or different to be satisfied, they can make our days much more of a struggle.
Without realising it, our story can add greatly to our stress level. And when we notice this, we can tweak them.
What our Today story is
Our Today story comes from our ever-running interpretation of others, ourselves, and the world around us. We need this interpretive filter. It’s our way of making sense of the world, of processing stimuli, and evoking feelings, and felt needs in us. We then can decide what to do in the face of discomfort or danger.
This interpretation is amazing, really. It’s a subjective process that’s the basis of our Today story.
It’s easy to forget that we choosing what to include. We pay selective attention and focus on some things more than others. There’s lots of reasons for this bias, much out of our awareness. But not everything. We are always free to change our stories.
Is our story hurting us?
What kind of Today stories are we telling?
When we use a deficit assumptions, we emphasise our many limitations. When we use strength assumptions, remembering what’s working for us, our stories are very different.
Is our Today story holding subtle complaints about life, dissatisfaction with ourselves, others and the way of the world?
If so, we will feel worse.
I got this tip a while ago and I use it all the time. In your Today story, explain other’s behaviour, and your own, in the most benign way you find feasible.
The bottom line is we can experience a happier version of ourselves through the kind of Today story we tell.