When I felt depressed, hope was not something that I thought about.
It was more real for me to think about being hopeless. I’d say, “I don’t see any hope” or “I have no hope.”
I didn’t see that hope was a missing friend. That it had something to offer me. Instead, I rejected hope, period. It was black and white. I didn’t want to think about any missing friends.
Hope can still elude us on better days
When I was feeling better, I still didn’t bother with hope. I wanted to be realistic. What’s the point of hoping for something that probably won’t happen?
I’ve dreamed the impossible, and you might have too. That’s hope, right?
At different times, I’ve really hoped to win the lottery…I’ve yearned to have a different life, to have had different parents, to be in a different career, to have a different family situation, to be different from what I was. Each was a fantasy.
One thing I now know.
Hope doesn’t need to be so out of the realm of possibility. Hope is not ridiculous. In fact, hope adds a lot to our lives. Or it can if we let it.
Hope fits in this way
Hope can be useful wish-making. It can help us live a better life.
What I mean is this. Change is always happening, whether we want this or not. Things are always in flux. Tomorrow will be different from today. We can’t stop these changes nor stop their impacting us…but we can influence what happens. As a living being, we are an integral part of these ongoing changes, not separate to it.
At its essence, hope is about having an opinion on the direction of that change. It’s your answer to the question: what would you like to happen?
When we allow ourselves to hope, we start to define the kind of change we want to see. We picture it and see how it feels. We start to anticipate change.
Why is it worth welcoming hope?
Hope offers us support. It has the potential to guide us. We get a little clearer about our direction and this settles inside, still with us even on the tough days when we feel low, depressed.
With hope, it’s a little easier to make decisions along the way. We get a sense of what’ll take us towards what we’re hoping for – and what won’t.
Having hope acts as a compass of sorts. It’s an orientation tool that works on a subtle level inside us.
When it doesn’t feel right
Despite all this, you may still reject your first thoughts about what to hope for. If it still seems too out of reach, that’s a sign that it isn’t right for you.
At times like this, I’ve scaled back. Taken a piece of a too-big idea. Asked what would be something smaller, that would still make a positive difference to me?
If it’s too big, you can make it a much better fit for you. We can decide what’s worth looking forward to.
Where to start
It’s worth opening yourself up to hope, even if there’s no guarantee it’ll happen and even if it is just a glimmer. Hope will still work its magic.
All you have to do is ask…what’s something I’d like, that might just happen?
The bottom line is that hope in small chunks can be like a friend. We we can leave the door open and welcome it at the first opportunity.