Avoid this Trap
Life dishes up problems. We can’t live a life without them. No matter how ‘together’ we are, no matter how good life is, we will still hit bumps, face problems, have unwanted things happen.
Typically, we see ourselves as resilient. We deal with problems as they present themselves. We see ourselves in positive terms. We are capable, we can cope.
When several unwanted things happen at once, or pile up over time, it’s normal to become stressed. And certainly, some problems sideswipe us. They are life-changing and beyond our control.
Lots of lemons
When life serves up a lot of lemons, it can be depressing; we don’t make lemonade out of the lemons as we usually do. We lose our perspective and find it hard to muster the energy we need. At such times, we feel overwhelmed and bogged down in our problems. Without our realising it, our attention is sucked into our problems and it’s impossible to see light.
Whether it’s a long line of semi-resolved problems that gets us down, or something life-changing, it can be hard to see anything but difficulties. Our gaze is fixed on our problems.
The Price of a Problem-Mentality
The price we pay for accidentally taking on a problem-mentality is high. Here’s the trap.
We forget our personal strengths, our qualities, the skills we have and the lessons we’ve learned. Instead, we lament what we can’t do, how hard it is to get out from under. We begin to see ourselves in deficit, lacking what we need to deal with everything. It knocks our confidence.
Our perspective also takes a hit. When our focus is consumed by our problems, it’s hard to work out what we want and how we can get there. We see fewer options. It shrinks our view.
What to Do
If you feel in this constant struggle with your problems, start with small steps.
The first thing is give yourself a break. It is very human, and normal, to feel consumed by problems in life. It happens. There’s nothing wrong with you. Give yourself what you need.
Then allow yourself to see that you have a choice, not so much in preventing problems but how you see them. You can choose your focus if you want. Keeping in mind what’s most important to you. You don’t need to have a problem-perspective. And the price you pay will be much less.
The bottom line? We are highly resilient as humans, but it doesn’t always feel that way. Have faith that your coping ability will return and take small steps to take you in that direction.