Find the right person and talk it out
If you’ve got something you’re worried about, a close friend or family member can really help. No one cares like a good friend or family member.
They want the best for you and have your best interests in mind.
Yet you might hesitate and there’s some good reasons. You need someone who can listen to you without getting upset, negating what we say, or giving us advice. The truth is we don’t know how to listen well. Those who love us try to protect us. They can urge a course of action for our own good. They can share our worries with others, all with the best of intentions.
There is a time and place for these things but so often the timing is wrong. We need space to get clear and to choose when and how to bring others into our situation.
Another obstacle to relying on family or friends is that they may not be available. They are busy or preoccupied with personal issues. Or perhaps they were close previously, not so much today.
Yet talking to someone we trust is important.
This is why counsellors exist: to let you speak out loud what is on your mind and support you to take positive steps to improve your situation. Most people going to counselling are not mentally ill. If they are, they typically rely on a psychiatrist or specialist psychologist, not a counsellor. Counselling is for all kinds of people going through changes in their life and wanting to get clear the best way forward.
Life brings constant change and many challenges exist, so it is not that unusual to want to get clear about what we really want – or how to navigate a difficult issue or situation. We may simply want to achieve something.
In choosing a counsellor, apart from ensuring they are qualified and experienced, look for someone who is right for you.
Here is how you can start:
- Do you want someone who is more structured in their approach, where they have modalities, they use for everyone, or are person-centred which means they take their cues from you and are responsive to what you need?
- Do they seek to seek to diagnose you and focus on your problem, or do they see you as a whole person and treat your ‘issue’ as part of your whole self?
- What are their values? Do they tell you what their priorities are?
- Is it feasible to see them? How long will you need to wait for your appointment? Do you have a choice of in-person or virtual? And is it affordable, or will it continue to be affordable if you return?
If you have something on your mind, perhaps it is time to find the right person with whom to share your thoughts and feelings. Counselling is one option, and it adds to what your family and friends can provide. Increasingly, counselling is a resource for everyday people seeking to support themselves.